all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
