so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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