remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
