tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
