He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
