Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
