I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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