That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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