guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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