After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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