we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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