Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize