My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
