It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
