he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
