That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
