I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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