Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
