I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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