his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
