just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize