I am spending my child support on dildos
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
