You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
