I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
