U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
