apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize