I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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