If i come over, it means nothing
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So vagazzling was a success
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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