tonight lets celebrate not being married
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
