so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just puked most of my soul out..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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