whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
