I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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