redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
