remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
