i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
