Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I need help removing her.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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