you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
