so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
