She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
