I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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