I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
