To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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