Umm I'm too high to move.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
