That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
