We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
