bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize