Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
