Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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