Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You smell like stripper and shame
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
