She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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