i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wish my penis had a tongue
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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