Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize