maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
