God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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