I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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