sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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