i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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