Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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