just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
