you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
