imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
