Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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