i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
