she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
