got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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