okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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